Delving Into My Mind

I’ve just been thinking about writing a lot lately and how as a writer you want to write down what goes through your mind. Otherwise it’s constantly there trying to break free of your mind to be on paper. But that’s not always enough, sometimes it doesn’t stop until you share it with someone or put it out there for several others to see. This happens a lot with me because I want to know what others think of my writing. If I go back to read it, the words still paint a vivid picture of what is going on or being said. But I sometimes wonder if that’s how it is for others who read it. If it isn’t, I want to know so that I can become a better writer and be able to captivate them in that way.

           

But then we come to the issue of what if some of the stuff I write is considered inappropriate or offends someone? I know that there are some stories that are supposed to get some sort of emotional response from the reader. That is to help them feel connected to the story. But what about a piece that is maybe a bit risqué or even very opinionated? While I may write it down, I don’t know that I would ever feel comfortable sharing it with others.

I have also heard that writing is supposed to challenge the writer. Believe me, this has challenged me immensely. Growing up, you learn that there are certain things you do not share with others or say. But what about when it’s running through your mind and begging you to write to share its story? How can you say no to something that makes you wish you could say yes? To feel as though you will cry and mourn if you turn such a story away? To share that emotion, that level of intensity through words is the ultimate goal. But how do you deal with people, even people who may be close to you, that would feel offended by it? To have them tell me that I cannot write about that which moves me the most is like telling me not to feel the emotion it calls forth. To block out the intensity that requires a level of self-control that I lack. I choose to lack though because if we restrict our writing, we lose the creativity that sparks the imagination.

In a sense this also shows how strongly I feel about the need to read and the need to write. Those two aspects are the motivation I use to complete my training to become an English teacher. I want to be able to share that passion with my students, and even greater than that I want my students to feel the fiery passion that such reading and writing requires. Somewhere between high school and elementary we as educators drop the ball and are responsible for the students’ loss of interest in being more than just literate. I know that I cannot help every student rekindle their love of words and stories but even if I can only help a few students a year that is enough for me. I will be making a difference in their lives that they can carry with them throughout their careers and their lives. Not only will they see my love of reading and writing, but they will also see that it is possible to enjoy my chosen career. Hopefully that will inspire them to choose the path that leads them to a career that will bring them just as much joy. No one said it would be easy, but if it was, it wouldn’t be worth the risk.