Differences in Attitudes & Head Coaches

Isn't it amazing how just the difference in sports seasons shows the difference in the students? How going from, say for argument's sake, football to basketball you can see a difference in the students themselves. They go from being polite kids who worked well as a team to becoming rude individuals who only work as individuals. It saddens me to see how one coach's teachings about being better men outside of school and sports can be thrown to the ground like trash and stomped upon until all of those teachings are hidden by profanity and horrible attitudes.

While we are on the topic of head coaches, a head coach is supposed to be helping to build an individual up, not tearing them down. A head coach is supposed to help a player get better, not tell them what they are not allowed to do. A head coach is supposed to make the player a better person overall, not a self-serving, egotistical individual whose only purpose is to make sure he himself stays in the game. A head coach is supposed to make players truly play as a team, not as individuals who are only interested in benefitting themselves. A head coach should emphasize the importance of grades rather than just getting another win because when it comes down to it, how many students will actually go on to play the sport at the professional level or even at the collegiate level? How many colleges care about your sports season when considering if a student should be accepted? Colleges are much more interested in grades. If you don't have the grades, it's see you never.

But quite honestly the most upsetting fact to me is that those individuals are allowing themselves to be influenced by their head coach. If he's tearing you down and telling you or someone you know that they can't do something if they want playing time, stand up for what is right!! Your previous head coach taught you how to be a better person. He gave you all of the tools that he possibly could and yet you don't use his teachings? You choose to have a poor attitude rather than be a good person? You cannot stand behind the defense that this season's head coach is pushing you to it. Take some responsibility for your own actions. While yes, he is guilty of facilitating the behavior simply by his actions, the blame also lies in you. Even if you are the only one, stand up for what you believe in, or you'll fall for anything.

Do you think colleges are interested in egotistical individuals who are only interested in self-preservation and "getting the win" or do you think they are more interested in a polite man who works well in a team setting and who obviously strived for good grades?

Affected By Music

Did you ever notice how music can affect you? I've noticed in the past couple of days just the difference it can have in my life. I also notice it especially when I'm listening to a specific playlist when I'm writing.

On the book that I'm currently working on I have a playlist with a range in music that includes Alternative, Hip-Hop, Pop and Rock. My favorite artist to listen to while I write the book is Linkin Park. I don't know what it is about them but I have a theory. It sets the tone for my book and it gets me into the right mindset when it comes to what is going on in the book. The funny thing about one of the main characters in the book? He's a country boy living on his family's farm. But there is no country music included in the playlist I listen to for the book. Amazing!

Normally when I just want to belt out the words to a song, I switch between two main playlists. The names of those playlists are quite simple - "Country" and "Life". I especially listen to "Life" when I'm feeling down or something has me just melancholy. I can't narrow my favorites from that list down. Basically it consists of songs from Sidewalk Prophets, Jamie Grace, Chris Tomlin, Tenth Avenue North and of course Newsboys. I find myself listening to "Life" more than any other playlist. I've noticed I just feel lighter so to speak. I feel that I can do anything. But it's not just these songs, it's the how the artists let their music and their lyrics. If you don't know me, let me tell you straight up. I'm a Christian and I believe in God as the creator of the universe. Artists like Sidewalk Prophets and Tenth Avenue North, their songs were meant for me. I can honestly sing "You Love Me Anyway" by the Sidewalk Prophets or "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North, cry because something in the song has convicted me or because I just feel an overwhelming love for and from God. Then after I have finished singing that song, I hit repeat over and over just so I can remind myself how awesome my God is. The one that gets me every time is "Our God" by Chris Tomlin.

I know I took a tangent from talking about music but bear with me. Not only do the songs convict me or move me, but they make me realize what I've been doing and what I need to change in my life. Stuff that normally I could bury by hiding in my other playlists. I didn't have to feel those convictions and could ignore if I would only listen to a different playlist. But those songs aren't the same nor do they make me feel the level of intensity of emotion that my "Life" playlist does. Music is how we can get through to our generation. Music is how God is using people like Chris Tomlin to reach millions. You may think I'm weird, thinking that God is speaking to me through music. But He uses it to talk with me, to remind me that I don't always make time in my "busy" life for Him. It reminds me that I need to be reading His Word. And just like in the song "You Love Me Anyway" by Sidewalk Prophets, no matter what I do, no matter how badly I fail, God will always love me for who I am. Which is something I don't deserve, but He loves me anyway.

Delving Into My Mind

I’ve just been thinking about writing a lot lately and how as a writer you want to write down what goes through your mind. Otherwise it’s constantly there trying to break free of your mind to be on paper. But that’s not always enough, sometimes it doesn’t stop until you share it with someone or put it out there for several others to see. This happens a lot with me because I want to know what others think of my writing. If I go back to read it, the words still paint a vivid picture of what is going on or being said. But I sometimes wonder if that’s how it is for others who read it. If it isn’t, I want to know so that I can become a better writer and be able to captivate them in that way.

           

But then we come to the issue of what if some of the stuff I write is considered inappropriate or offends someone? I know that there are some stories that are supposed to get some sort of emotional response from the reader. That is to help them feel connected to the story. But what about a piece that is maybe a bit risqué or even very opinionated? While I may write it down, I don’t know that I would ever feel comfortable sharing it with others.

I have also heard that writing is supposed to challenge the writer. Believe me, this has challenged me immensely. Growing up, you learn that there are certain things you do not share with others or say. But what about when it’s running through your mind and begging you to write to share its story? How can you say no to something that makes you wish you could say yes? To feel as though you will cry and mourn if you turn such a story away? To share that emotion, that level of intensity through words is the ultimate goal. But how do you deal with people, even people who may be close to you, that would feel offended by it? To have them tell me that I cannot write about that which moves me the most is like telling me not to feel the emotion it calls forth. To block out the intensity that requires a level of self-control that I lack. I choose to lack though because if we restrict our writing, we lose the creativity that sparks the imagination.

In a sense this also shows how strongly I feel about the need to read and the need to write. Those two aspects are the motivation I use to complete my training to become an English teacher. I want to be able to share that passion with my students, and even greater than that I want my students to feel the fiery passion that such reading and writing requires. Somewhere between high school and elementary we as educators drop the ball and are responsible for the students’ loss of interest in being more than just literate. I know that I cannot help every student rekindle their love of words and stories but even if I can only help a few students a year that is enough for me. I will be making a difference in their lives that they can carry with them throughout their careers and their lives. Not only will they see my love of reading and writing, but they will also see that it is possible to enjoy my chosen career. Hopefully that will inspire them to choose the path that leads them to a career that will bring them just as much joy. No one said it would be easy, but if it was, it wouldn’t be worth the risk.

Your Little Girl

Just to give you some background, this post/short story today is based off of this saying: "Abortion does not make you un-pregnant, it makes you the mother of a dead child." I'm writing from the viewpoint of an unborn child. Solemn words make a solemn story.

Mommy? I can hear you and Daddy talking about me. You say I'm a mistake, that I will mess up your lives. I know you're scared and you didn't mean for me to happen. But even though we've never met, I love you and Daddy. If you just give me a chance, I know you'll love me too. 

I'm scared because I can hear you and Daddy arguing about me. I don't want you and Daddy to fight. I'm hurt because you keep talking that you don't want me and there are ways to make it like it never happened before it's too late. Too late? It's already too late!! I feel, I think, I love, I'm alive. And even though you don't want me, I still want you. Just give me a chance. God has shown me what our lives can be like. All the days, good and bad, that just make our love stronger. The day I graduate high school, we both cry because we're both scared of the unknown. The day you and Daddy meet my boyfriend. A couple years after that when I'm graduated from college, you and Daddy walking me down the aisle to my soon-to-be husband. He and I having a child of our own. I want all of that, and deep down inside you must want that too. Please, please let me live. 

Now we're at the clinic. The nurse is telling you what is going to happen. Mommy? I'm scared. I don't want to die. I haven't had the chance to live yet. I just want that chance. I know it's too late though. I wish you could hear me. Even though you don't want me, I love you. The nurse puts something sharp in your arm. I'm starting to feel tired and sleepy. I can feel myself slowing down. 

But it's starting to burn. Mommy, it hurts. Please make it stop. I weep softly knowing that this is the end. The end before the beginning had a chance to start. It hurts too much Mommy. But suddenly God is there, holding me in His arms. He tells me that we will one day meet again. Please start going to church with Daddy. Then we really will meet again and by then I will have forgiven you. Before I go, Mommy I want to ask you something. Why was it so terrible that I live? How could you do this to me, your little girl?

That was very hard to finish. I stopped several times because I could no longer see my screen. Human life is sacred, even from the moment it is conceived.
I want to take this moment to thank my parents for never even considering murdering their children. No words can describe how much I love you Mom and Dad!!

The Clock Winked At Me

So I randomly looked at writing prompts today, and I found this one that I think perfectly describes my whole week. The prompt is: "The clock winked at me." So here it goes.

I jerk awake as I look for whoever is now yelling "Hey! You there, you there! Hey! You there, you there!" It takes me a moment to locate my cellphone which has decided that burying itself in my pillow case is funny. I unlock my phone to silence it and look at my phone. I'm not kidding you because I was fully awake when this happened. My clock winked at me. I gasp as I drop my phone in panic only to grab for it before its bounce takes it over the side of my bed. 

I don't know how to explain this but it looked like my phone. It said 8:30 am and all of a sudden it winked at me. I don't know whether that means something positive or negative. It is Wednesday so that could mean Time will be nice to me and go by quickly. As much as I would love that, I'm starting to dread that means Time is going to be going slowly just to spite me. 

Which of course, the latter wins. My day dragged on and you would think that would give me more time to get a bunch of homework done, right? Wrong. Time that drags makes me tired. Being tired makes me not want to do anything which also means after I finished what I could stand doing for homework, I sat around bored. So bored I was that I took time to watch a season 3 episode of Pokemon. You know, the episode where Ash and Pikachu have to defeat Dragonite? But that only took up approximately twenty-thirty minutes of Time. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but to go back to season 3 rather than try to catch up on all the new series. Aren't they all the way up to like season 14 now?

I can't believe I'm saying this, but even TV got boring. But don't tell anyone that because that would be considered blasphemy in about 47 states (just kidding but seriously). It's like Time is messing with me. When I have nothing to do, I have too much Time. Then when I have a lot to do, I have no Time. When I'm at school, Time knocks me down and slowly drags me through my week. Then when I get to enjoy the weekend at home with the ones I love, Time throws me over its shoulder and sprints through like its life depended on it. Only rarely do I ever get a day where Time decides to be generous and give me plenty of itself to get a lot done. Maybe Time will one day stop being so bitter because people waste him all the time. 

Hope ya'll enjoy that. I found it actually pretty fun to write :) Till next time fellow Wordsmiths!!

Writing Group Day

~Before the Meeting~

Super nervous. I was asked to share what I'm currently working on for NaNoWriMo and I've only ever shared my writing with my mom and with my boyfriend. I know for a fact that I won't finish my book for NaNoWriMo this year (stupid homework getting in the way), but I'm hoping (crossing fingers) to finish it over Christmas break. Now that I've beat Assassin's Creed 3, I don't have that as a distraction. I'll be out of excuses for why I could not finish it so therefore I will sit down and write it.

Ahhh!! Almost time to start...


~After the Meeting~

What did I have to worry about? Fellow writers are there to help make sure my writing is up to par. Was privileged to hear others share their work as well. An AWESOME poem one had written to their friend, a memoir, and a neat story about the life of a shoe from the shoe's perspective.

Really made me think about what my shoes would be saying? So here's a very short story I came up with for my colorful Osiris (I may actually finish it someday):

I've only been my owner's shoes for about a year. For a good majority of that time, I was her favorite shoe, her go-to shoe, THE shoe. I'm black, purple, lime green and turquoise with bright pink laces. I still remember the day that she picked me out. It was because of those colors. We've been through a lot together: snow, puddles, a creek, dirt, mud, concrete, class, food, working at a fast food joint. 

I think that I will take that little bit and expand it. But for now that will have to wait. I got plans for that story though. Just like my other two stories haha.

But my advice to other aspiring writers like myself: Don't ever give up writing. Don't let others influence what you think of your story. Take the criticism yes but only write the story that you would be happy reading.

Challenge Accepted

Today was the first day of classes after Thanksgiving break. I decided to do none of my homework at all this weekend and guess what? All of my projects are due this week. Some of them were already mostly finished while others weren't even started yet. Procrastination level: me. Yes, I will name it that because it seems to be my specialty. Well that and every time that little voice in my head says you'll never be able to finish it in a day, I immediately turn into a cartoon stick figure and respond like this:

Started and finished this video today. Perhaps not the best quality but if you didn't know that I had started it today, you wouldn't think it was terrible now would you? I think it's pretty good. That and I hate documentaries. They can be so boring.

Oh and earlier today while I was just wasting time in between classes, I for the first time went to the pawn shop here. I know, terrible since I love clearance and finding a good bargain. I spent a good forty-five minutes just walking around looking at everything they had. Then I happened upon a tree. Not a real tree, a fake one. And actually the tag said mushroom but I think it's a tree so that's that. Looks like something from a fantasy book and hey, my room needs some personality. Looks like a college student lives here with all of the books and videos that are never watched. And the random piles of papers. Disorganized yes, but I know where everything is. It's still clean...somewhat...well more so than my room at home currently (Yes mom, I'll make sure to clean it during Christmas break.)

Back to my new tree. Here it is:

It will be my new inspiration while I am writing (which won't be happening this week since we are so close to the end of the semester, but during break I will).

That's it for today folks. Perhaps I'll play some Pokemon now. Or stare at my awesome tree for awhile.